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Anyone with children out there?

 
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canadianvixen

posts: 1

Oct 15, 2011 12:17    Quote
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Hello everyone!  I am new here.  6 years ago when I first learned I have this, I was devastated.  I had resolved at that point that I would not have any children as it just seemed too risky.   I was also pissed because I was extremely careful when it came to relationships!...especially sexual ones.  Anyway, I had nagged my obgyn to "tie my tubes" and she refused until I was at least 30..."just to be sure" it was what I wanted.

I gave birth to a very healthy baby last year and begged my Dr for a cesarian because I was so worried I could pass this to my baby and possibly cause blindness, among other complications if I'd had an outbreak near delivery.  My Dr of course had me taking high doses of valtrex for the last month of my pregnancy and obviously, my child was born healthy. (oddly enough, aside from the initial outbreak, I've not had a single symptom, outbreak, etc.)

The problem I have now is that I incessantly wash my hands before holding my child or anything.  There are even times I'm scared to change the diaper.  I am PETRIFIED I'm going to make my baby sick somehow from this.

Are there any other parents out there that have this fear?  Is this normal?

Inevitable16

posts: 1

Oct 28, 2011 02:08    Quote
Points: 0   Vote

I cannot say that I have children, but I do constantly wash my hands now, for fear of touching anything and passing it on that way. I do, however, have a question for you. Was the person who passed it on to you the same one who fathered your child? I only ask this because I'm curious if it's hard to find a partner after you have been diagnosed. I waas diagnosed within the last 60 days and have not yet started the dating process again. Please let me know, if it's a little personal, through a private message would be fine also. Thank you.

lmm1234

posts: 1

Apr 25, 2012 20:43    Quote
Points: 0   Vote

I also have children, and like you i am paranoid that I may pass it on to them..it's easy to choose not to be intimate with a parther or friends, it's harder to avoid physical contact with your children.

All the research says it is impossible (or nearly impossible) to pass this on except via sexual contact, but I am not convinced...if wrestlers can transmit it through close contact, than we can pass this onto our children in the same way. I've had an outbreak on my back and the back of my hand besides the usual places...and since this is new, have genital outbreaks though not painful, extremely annoying all the time (hopefully this will decrease soon)

So, handwashing yes, I use separate towels and wash the bathtub every time before their baths...my son asked me to put a bandaid on his cut the other day and I was not too keen on the idea...we didn't have any, so situation avoided, but seriously, we are touching our children all the time, this is normal loving part of a relationship.  Eventually, we are going to have to stop being paranoid and just love our children and hope for the best.  My only hope is that if it is somehow inadvertently transmitted to them (likely through a cut on a weird part of their body), that they can build some antibodies without actually having a genital infection...absolutely no medical basis for this hope, but what's life without hope.

Keep living and smiling, you have a beautiful child to love in your life; Whether you pass this on to them or not, this infection will not affect their lifespan and ability to have a wonderful, full life.

earthhippie

posts: 1

May 29, 2012 22:17    Quote
Points: 1   Vote

I have had herpes now since I was 19 and I am 44. I did have c-sections as doctors said it was necessary at that time but my friends have had vaginal births without passing the virus on at all. It is important to keep an eye on break-outs and get used to the patterns of break-outs if you are planning to get pregnant as you know your body best and can work with your doctor or mid-wife to ensure you are not having a break-out when labor begins.

In addition, I have three grown children and three grandchildren. I have bathed with them all, shared towels, put their band-aids on and kissed their owies without ever transmitting the virus. Again, it is a matter of paying attention to your body and patterns of break-outs. I know when I need to be careful and mostly I just live a normal life without worry because stress brings on the virus so i choose not to stress. I also take l-lysine, which is amazingly preventative without the side effects of valtrex. I take vitamins and know that life is ok with herpes.

It is true that finding a partner is harder and it has taken me years to learn how to disclose but disclosing is possible and those who are worth keeping will accept us with respect if we are respectful and caring back; i.e. i am aware of break-outs and the last two relationships have been good as we simply paid attention to those. I have never passed the virus on to anyone, which is super cool. It sucks to have this but we all have flaws and those that love us love us even with those flaws. :)

designergirl

posts: 3

Oct 25, 2016 05:26    Quote
Points: 0   Vote

Hello everyone!  I am new here.  6 years ago when I first learned I have this, I was devastated.  I had resolved at that point that I would not have any children as it just seemed too risky.   I was also pissed because I was extremely careful when it came to relationships!...especially sexual ones.  Anyway, I had nagged my obgyn to "tie my tubes" and she refused until I was at least 30..."just to be sure" it was what I wanted.

I gave birth to a very healthy baby last year and begged my Dr for a cesarian because I was so worried I could pass this to my baby and possibly cause blindness, among other complications if I'd had an outbreak near delivery.  My Dr of course had me taking high doses of valtrex for the last month of my pregnancy and obviously, my child was born healthy. (oddly enough, aside from the initial outbreak, I've not had a single symptom, outbreak, etc.)

The problem I have now is that I incessantly wash my hands before holding my child or anything.  There are even times I'm scared to change the diaper.  I am PETRIFIED I'm going to make my baby sick somehow from this.

Are there any other parents out there that have this fear?  Is this normal?

I had my daughter 27 years ago by natural childbirth. Just wash your hands and be aware , it will be fine.

reebox

posts: 1

Nov 10, 2016 14:35    Quote
Points: 0   Vote

I have a child but I had my child before I was ever infected but I do know people who had children after they found out

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